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It's been a wild month. After almost a year beating myself up for having an unsuccessful job search, living with my parents, having no social life to speak of, and doing the crappiest manual labor minimum wage job imaginable, I finally got a big girl job...almost. It's a paid internship, but it's the type where I'm working my butt off and getting tons of skills that I can use in the future. And there's a lot of room for advancement, so I'm super excited and hopeful for the future. I'm doing editorial work for an online magazine, which is pretty fun and which it turns out I'm pretty good at due to spending the vast majority of my free time blogging and browsing the internet.
It's made me totally reevaluate what I wanted out of life...I wanted to be an advertising creative, move thousands of miles away and live in a huge city. Now I'm like...on second thought, I've got a pretty decent life doing what I'm doing. I'ma keep at it and maybe one day I can afford a dog. (The true millennial dream.)
I also moved out of my parents' house and started living in my own place again, so I'm dealing with all the insanity which comes from living alone and paying your own bills...I'm pretty busy. I'm trying really really hard to have all my ducks in a row at all times...not an easy thing. I deleted Tumblr and Facebook and basically all social media except Instagram, so even though I can't really connect to people socially as easily, I don't have those distractions (though look at me here on Deviantart, haha.) I'm trying to keep my car clean, purse clean, room clean, bathroom clean, laundry and dishes done, and work organized...whew. Plus I want to start a healthy meal plan and better budget, but first I want to get a handle on everything else before I even attempt those. I'm really really hoping that all my cleaning and organizing will become a habit and it won't be as much of a struggle.
I went to Animazement and had a really fun time, but there came a point when I was in the Dealer's Room it dawned on me that I've seen so much of the merchandise before, and so many of the booths before, and so much of the art before and so many of the artists before...I even recognized cosplayers that I saw or met 5 or even 9 (!!) years ago. I realized that I'm kind of worn out on the cutesie faced on all the stuff you can buy, all the wee smiling foxes and kittens and cakes and bows and everything. It's like, that "awwhhh" response generated by all the imagery...I'm just tired of it. Obviously, I love stuff like that, and I'm not renouncing adorable kittens in my life or anything. I just don't feel the need to go to a highly concentrated mecca of it every year.
This was my 9th year in a row going to AZ and I realized that it will be my last time going, at least as a spectator. Next year, I will either sell my art (WHICH I HAVE SAID I WOULD DO FOR NINE!! YEARS!!) Or not go at all. I'm leaning towards the former, though, so don't worry. And, there's always Dragoncon in Atlanta which I could save up for too. I love cosplaying, but I don't feel like AZ is gonna be the place it's going to happen anymore.
I am looking for a table buddy for next year, by the way Although I have a friend who has said he wants to do it with me, it's not certain that that will happen because he has plans to move far away from Raleigh (which I totes understand.) And of course, I'm going to (sigh) really start working on my art again. I know, I've said it before so many times. But I've got a good feeling this time.
It's made me totally reevaluate what I wanted out of life...I wanted to be an advertising creative, move thousands of miles away and live in a huge city. Now I'm like...on second thought, I've got a pretty decent life doing what I'm doing. I'ma keep at it and maybe one day I can afford a dog. (The true millennial dream.)
I also moved out of my parents' house and started living in my own place again, so I'm dealing with all the insanity which comes from living alone and paying your own bills...I'm pretty busy. I'm trying really really hard to have all my ducks in a row at all times...not an easy thing. I deleted Tumblr and Facebook and basically all social media except Instagram, so even though I can't really connect to people socially as easily, I don't have those distractions (though look at me here on Deviantart, haha.) I'm trying to keep my car clean, purse clean, room clean, bathroom clean, laundry and dishes done, and work organized...whew. Plus I want to start a healthy meal plan and better budget, but first I want to get a handle on everything else before I even attempt those. I'm really really hoping that all my cleaning and organizing will become a habit and it won't be as much of a struggle.
I went to Animazement and had a really fun time, but there came a point when I was in the Dealer's Room it dawned on me that I've seen so much of the merchandise before, and so many of the booths before, and so much of the art before and so many of the artists before...I even recognized cosplayers that I saw or met 5 or even 9 (!!) years ago. I realized that I'm kind of worn out on the cutesie faced on all the stuff you can buy, all the wee smiling foxes and kittens and cakes and bows and everything. It's like, that "awwhhh" response generated by all the imagery...I'm just tired of it. Obviously, I love stuff like that, and I'm not renouncing adorable kittens in my life or anything. I just don't feel the need to go to a highly concentrated mecca of it every year.
This was my 9th year in a row going to AZ and I realized that it will be my last time going, at least as a spectator. Next year, I will either sell my art (WHICH I HAVE SAID I WOULD DO FOR NINE!! YEARS!!) Or not go at all. I'm leaning towards the former, though, so don't worry. And, there's always Dragoncon in Atlanta which I could save up for too. I love cosplaying, but I don't feel like AZ is gonna be the place it's going to happen anymore.
I am looking for a table buddy for next year, by the way Although I have a friend who has said he wants to do it with me, it's not certain that that will happen because he has plans to move far away from Raleigh (which I totes understand.) And of course, I'm going to (sigh) really start working on my art again. I know, I've said it before so many times. But I've got a good feeling this time.
Who did I used to be again?
Can anyone remember?
Was I a good person?
Was I nice?
Did I do my best?
I wish I could go back in time and start all over. Go back to art school, get better mental health treatment, make stronger friendships, and keep them. Graduate with a sense of self-worth and a bomb-ass portfolio, start illustrating and writing and making it all work.
There aren't any do-overs in this life, I'm afraid.
New Instagram!
Hey ya'll, good news: I've started drawing again! Finally, right??
I'm really motivated and determined to realize my dream of being a professional artist. I practice every day and I'm already seeing some improvement.
If you're interested to see all my recent stuff you can follow me on instagram! My handle is averymakesart3. (Don't forget the 3.)
I will most likely not be posting anything here anymore. It's much faster and more efficient to put stuff on Instagram and Tumblr. I'll probably keep this account up as a little time capsule of all my high school stuff, though.
Thanks, and happy fall!
Devious Journal Entry
Something very odd happened to me on here. I received a message informing me that one of my images was sold as a print. I don't remember making it available for sale, but okay, sell my stuff without involving me or anything.
Apparently I have received $4 for an 18-by-24 sized print. I don't need to tell most of you that that's ridiculous. 18 by 24 is huge; the size of those massive sketchbooks. Selling it for so little is comical...and not a price I ever authorized.
So one of two things happened:
A) Deviantart sold it for what it's worth, like $15 or $20, and kept a massive amount of the cut.
B) They really did sell it for way less than
2015 Update
What I've been doing for the past 6 months: applying for jobs, browsing tumblr, lying facedown on my floor crying, if anyone's wondering
© 2015 - 2024 Spiderweaver
Comments13
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Congratulations on the internship! I'd love to see you again if you're still in town. I live in Durham now, only half an hour from Raleigh.